OK then, let it be forever understood that Ima Cornholer is now the reigning Honky Tonk Queen for 2010. Her highness is one of a very select group of individuals that won, but did not enter. Yes, that is right - Ima Cornholer sat this one out at the side of her beloved in the audience - and won. She had some stiff competition from " Miss Leslie Gore-Tex " ( loved your outfit ), the only real contestant that fateful night. The hotel representative was moved from judge to a contestant by Miss Tami Wynotte and the festivities got rolling. Miss Lois Carmen D'Nominator was our Hostess with the Mostess that evening, along with the aforementioned Tami and last years winner, Mrs M. She was silenced and said nada. Ima had chosen to sit it out, after some honky tonk hijinx regarding the selection of numbers etc. So, Tami and Lois ( god bless you Lois - all of these shenanigans will not be the same without you girl ) dispensed " numbers from this season of Glee " and the entertainment began. First up was Miss ( insert correct name here ) our hotel rep / contestant and she chose the big bad " BAD ROMANCE " to perform. She gave it up somewhere between here and there and was sidelined. Then I believe came the one real contestant, Miss Leslie Gore Tex and " Miss Lotta Nerve ". Miss Tex's number was completely forgettable ( at least by my aging besotten mind that evening ) but it was delightful :) Then Miss Nerve did " Proud Mary " and rocked the house with choreo accompaniment from many OLD Queens that were trying to not collapse the stage with there finest Ikette moves. She was fun and then I believe Lois was up next. Lois sang/synched her self referenced " swan song ", " Big Girls Don't Cry " by Fergie and collected a lot of money for the Mike Jacobbs fund. She also brought many to tears and then to their feet when she had finished. I seem to remember some sentimental remarks being made by Lois and then she handed it back to Tami and The Judges for the big strong finish ! The suspense was killing me ! The audience started chanting " IMA IMA IMA " and I threw in CORNHOLER and next thing you knew, the official outcome from the Judges was announced and Miss Ima Cornholer was finally crowned Hony Tonk Queen ! This after 13 attempts and being given the " Susan Lucci Appreciation Award " ! Ima was beside herself happy and got up to accept the honor and was just beeming. She promised to perform her prepared number the next night which she did and her reign was off and running. After the contest, I had a brief conversation with the judges and expressed to them, that I thought this had to rank as one of the most sentimental contests ever. They sort of agreed, and then I said this : " none of us are getting any younger, and if we do not find what is truly of value - we are so fucked ".
So, I think we all found what was truly of value that evening and made the most of it. Sometimes, thats all we get. |
